Resolved

WHEREAS, your faithful blogger has had the worst year of his life; and

WHEREAS, in two days, the year 2010 will finally, thankfully, be dead and buried; and

WHEREAS, this shit gotta stop.

RESOLVED,

In the year 2011, your faithful blogger shall finish his casebook, finish his novel, eat healthier, start living his life more on schedule, learn to relax more, ponder less, and be more connected to the world at large.  Maybe even get a fucking job.

Feel free to begin placing odds on how soon I crap out on these goals.  Sous Chef suggests setting up a pool.

Tote that barge

I have a confession to make.  Being a lawyer can sometimes be tedious.  It can be even more tedious when you aren't getting paid to do the work.  But, at least research and writing can keep the circuits sharp and clean.  Wouldn't want to forget what it is I get paid to do.

I used to think that doing professional association work was a good way to network.  And for some, I suppose it is.  I know a lot of lawyers in my field and they know me.  I like many of them, respect nearly all of them.  But I have never gotten a client or an engagement out of it.  It's never gotten me a job. 

Feh.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Post-Christmas

Well, the brisket came out well.  The weather cooperated so it didn't take an extra 5 hours to get it done.  I made a killer sauce to go with it.  The kids were a lot of fun.  Wife was civil.  For the most part.

I got my Kindle.  It's great for reading on public transportation.  Lightweight, and it carries a big library.  I love it already.  Oddly enough, they've cleaned up my part of town in the last couple decades.  No hookers, no dealers, not even more than a couple of homeless drunks.

Fortunately, they live far enough away that the trip home took almost the whole evening.  By the time I got home, there was only a couple of hours left to notice that I was all alone on Christmas.

Why Believe in God

Ricky Gervais is currently getting alot of media attention for his discussion of why he is an atheist.  It's printed as an op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal and getting big hits on YouTube.

One has to admit, the humanist view he expresses, that there is no God because science purports to prove He doesn't exist, or at least that no omnipotent, immortal, entity that may or may not be vaguely anthropomorphic does exist, has a certain persuasive feel.  A similar view was taken by Bertrand Russell a generation or two ago, and the argument is no less refutable now than it was then.

However, it strikes me that not being able to prove God exists, even being able to prove the near-impossibility of a God-type deity existing is no more proof that God doesn't exist.  It comes down to a question of faith either way.  The humanist approach places its ultimate faith in Man and the spiritual approach places its faith in God. 

As it happens, science, at least theoretical physics, is getting closer to proving the that God and science are intertwined, inexorably.  Higgs Boson, or the God particle, is coming closer and closer to being discovered every day.  This brings us ever closer to finding a Unified Theory of everything.  Will we find that everything includes that undefinable bit in back of it all that can neither be explained or explained away?  And is that undefinable the God that the spiritualists, myself included, believe in.

Working up That Holiday Cheer

I am beginning to get some sense of holiday spirit.  I was wondering how this was goiing to play out, with me hitting the bricks three weeks before Christmas.    And I know it's going to be tough taking a train home from the house on Christmas night.  I was thinking about this last night as I was drifting off to sleep.

I flashed on a Christmas 26 years ago.  I was taking the Clark Street bus down from Evanston, where I had jumped off the Metra train from Wife's parent's house.  I hopped off at Clark and Deming and the only person on the street was a hooker.  It was really, really cold and she was looking for a chance to get inside for a while.  I could have had my bells rung for about $20.

But I wasn't up for it.  I was in love, I was cheap, and I wasn't comfortable with the idea of paying for sex.  Of course, I became more comfortable over the years, which is one of the reasons I am where I am today.

So that's why I was wondering whether or not this Christmas was going to do it for me.  I think I'll still be bummed out riding that bus.  But I will have a good time all day before then.  And I'm not going to cut a deal with the hooker.

What Time Does the Cafeteria Open?

I'm getting cabin fever.  I can tell I'm getting cabin fever because I'm starting to act like I did when I was in college.  Any time is a good time for a nap.  Even if you just woke up and brushed your teeth.  I lived for three days eating nothing but the pizza I ordered on Sunday.  I almost allowed myself to watch Friends on Lifetime.


What it comes down to is simple: men need structure.  Give us too much free time and we will become fat, lazy lummoxes watching tv reruns. 

It's not like I don't have work to do.  I still have my class materials to finish up.  But class doesn't start until January and I don't have anybody to check in on me and make sure I'm staying on task.  I know I'm not the only one with this problem.  And I know many women who procrastinate, too.  But nevertheless, there it is.

Some structure is necessary in my life or I start to drift.

You Don't Need to Worry 'Bout Me

Sorry.  I was just channeling Peter Scolari for a moment there.  Odd, thing really.  I haven't thought about doing the drag thing for years.  But I digress....

I am doing okay.  I miss my kids.  I miss Wife.  But I am getting used to the quiet.  It forces me to occupy myself.  That could be smoking pot and hanging out in fron of the tv.  But it hasn't.  I'm getting work done.  I'm keeping my own house.

It wasn't my choice.  But it hasn't been life-ending, either. 

Which is good, because it's been fucking cold!  Sub-zero wind chills mean something when you're right on the Lake and those winds have raced hundreds (if not thousands) of miles with nothing to break them.  I started to go down the street to get a loaf of bread and the wind gave me angina.  I gave up after half a block.

At the moment, it isn't necessarily a bad thing not to have any place to go.

Settling In

I'm moved in to my new apartment.  Well, except for the boxes and shit.  It will take a few days to get those out of here.  But I slept my first night in peace.  I fell asleep easily and awoke late.  Moving took a lot out of me.  Some shopping today and I  can now stop eating out every meal.  My wallet and my doctors will appreciate that, I'm sure.

I have to get the cable package improved, but my roommate and I are negotiating that.  I am willing to pay for the tawdry sexx and violence that is HBO and Showtime.  Of course, there's nobody in the bed beside me.  But that's been the case for years.  Even when there was.