Resolved

WHEREAS, your faithful blogger has had the worst year of his life; and

WHEREAS, in two days, the year 2010 will finally, thankfully, be dead and buried; and

WHEREAS, this shit gotta stop.

RESOLVED,

In the year 2011, your faithful blogger shall finish his casebook, finish his novel, eat healthier, start living his life more on schedule, learn to relax more, ponder less, and be more connected to the world at large.  Maybe even get a fucking job.

Feel free to begin placing odds on how soon I crap out on these goals.  Sous Chef suggests setting up a pool.

Tote that barge

I have a confession to make.  Being a lawyer can sometimes be tedious.  It can be even more tedious when you aren't getting paid to do the work.  But, at least research and writing can keep the circuits sharp and clean.  Wouldn't want to forget what it is I get paid to do.

I used to think that doing professional association work was a good way to network.  And for some, I suppose it is.  I know a lot of lawyers in my field and they know me.  I like many of them, respect nearly all of them.  But I have never gotten a client or an engagement out of it.  It's never gotten me a job. 

Feh.

What Time Does the Cafeteria Open?

I'm getting cabin fever.  I can tell I'm getting cabin fever because I'm starting to act like I did when I was in college.  Any time is a good time for a nap.  Even if you just woke up and brushed your teeth.  I lived for three days eating nothing but the pizza I ordered on Sunday.  I almost allowed myself to watch Friends on Lifetime.


What it comes down to is simple: men need structure.  Give us too much free time and we will become fat, lazy lummoxes watching tv reruns. 

It's not like I don't have work to do.  I still have my class materials to finish up.  But class doesn't start until January and I don't have anybody to check in on me and make sure I'm staying on task.  I know I'm not the only one with this problem.  And I know many women who procrastinate, too.  But nevertheless, there it is.

Some structure is necessary in my life or I start to drift.

This is Going to Hurt You a Lot More Than it Hurts Me

So, I've been sitting on my hands for weeks now to keep from dialing, emailing, or otherwise harassing a potential employer.  They've displayed more interest in general than other places, and I think I've scored well in the interviews so far.

But they have this one last guy I'm supposed to talk with and he hasn't called.  It's driving me nuts.  Don't these guys ever remember what it's like to be on the other side of the equation?  Yes, I probably need the job more than he needs to interview me.   Today.  But what about in two weeks when he's getting slammed and thinking "Fuck, I wish I had someone to share the load."

Besides, if I don't get out of the house soon either me or my wife is going to wind up dead, hacked into little bits and simmered in a lemongrass-saffron broth.

Hello, Old Friends

Well, now, it has been a while.  One of the big problems with being a depressive is that one tends to et depressed on occasion.  And I have had more than  my fair share of things to be depressed about.  Job loss.  Impending divorce.  Health issues.  It's been enough to make me ponder (not seriously) sucking on the barrel of a shotgun.

I have come more and more to realize how much of my own self-defeating behaviors have led to these problems.  That doesn't change the fact that they exist and need to be overcome.  It also doesn't mean I am doomed to repeat the cycle.  I am learning to recognize these patterns and overcome them.  Hopefully, the next time around, I'll make changes and spot danger before I step on my dick.  The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life, a book I have been reading, has been a big help.  If any readers have similar issues to the ones I have whined about incessantly, it may be useful.

Anyway, I'm hoping to hear good news on the job front this week.  Once that happens, I can get my house in order, separation-wise.  No matter how things turn out, I know that Wife and I need time apart.  The angina is good for one thing, too.  It let's me know I still have a heart and it's still beating. 

Oh, and if anyone is feeling insanely rich and generous and wants to bring a smile to my face, I really want one of these: 

Sorry, We Don't Love You Anymore

I got laid-off today.  Made redundant, as our mushy--mouthed friends Across the Pond would say.  Canned, as the workers say.  I saw it coming, but that doesn't really make it any easier to take when the ax comes down.  I'll be okay.  It's not the first time it happened and, as much as I'd like to believe I'm wrong, it may not be the last.  Thanks to foresight, I had already begun looking around, so I have a few irons in the fire.

And it's Friday.  So I'll relax this weekend, post to the blow once or twice, maybe have a bloody mary or two on Sunday at brunch, and come Monday morning, I'll wake up and start hitting up connection, friends, and anyone else I can get to take my call for leads.

Getting re-employed is a job, just like any other.

Anybody Hiring?

As if my life isn't in turmoil enough right now, I'm looking for a new job.  I see the handwriting on the wall.  When the phone stops ringing, you know it's only a matter of time until the ax falls.

Nothing like being in your late 40's and looking for work.   It's so invigorating.  Like juggling flaming torches.